15-03-2009, 06:19 PM
Nasreddin Hodja And His Donkey
A neighbour who Nasreddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbour asked Nasreddin if he could borrow his donkey.
Nasreddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like, told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."
The neighbour was disappointed. But he thanked Nasreddin and began to walk away.
Just as he got a few steps away, Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray.
The neighbour turned to Nasreddin and said, "Hodja, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here.
Nasreddin Hodja turned to the neighbour and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?
Nasreddin Hodja And A Philosopher
Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was traveling through Nasreddin's village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat.
He suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited Nasreddin Hodja to join him. Much obliged, Nasreddin Hodja accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day.
"Fish! Fresh Fish!" replied the waiter. "Bring us two," they answered.
A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was quite a bit smaller than the other.
Without hesitating, Nasreddin Hodja took the larger of the fish and put it on his plate. The scholar, giving Nasreddin Hodja a look of intense disbelief, proceed to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but that it violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.
Nasreddin Hodja calmly listened to the philosopher's extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, Sir, what would you have done?"
"I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself."
"And here you are," Nasreddin Hodja said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman's plate.
How Nasreddin Hodja Won The Bet?
On a frigid and snowy winter day Nasreddin Hodja was having a chat with some of his friends in the local coffee house. Nasreddin Hodja said that cold weather did not bother him, and in fact, he could stay, if necessary, all night without any heat.
"We'll take you up on that, Nasreddin Hodja " they said. "If you stand all night in the village square without warming yourself by any external means, each of us will treat you to a sumptuous meal. But if you fail to do so, you will treat us all to dinner." "All right it's a bet," Nasreddin Hodja said.
That very night, Nasreddin Hodja stood in the village square till morning despite the bitter cold. In the morning, he ran triumphantly to his friends and told them that they should be ready to fulfill their promise.
"But as a matter of fact you lost the bet, Nasreddin Hodja," said one of them. "At about midnight, just before I went to sleep, I saw a candle burning a window about three hundred yards away from where you were standing. That certainly means that you warmed yourself by it."
"That's ridiculous," Nasreddin Hodja argued. "How can a candle behind a window warm a person three hundred yards away?" All his protestations were to no avail, and it was decided that Nasreddin Hodja had lost the bet.
Nasreddin Hodja accepted the verdict and invited all of them to a dinner that night at his home. They all arrived on time, laughing and joking, anticipating the delicious meal Nasreddin Hodja was going to serve them. But dinner was not ready. Nasreddin Hodja told them that it would be ready in a short time, and left the room to prepare the meal.
A long time passed, and still no dinner was served. Finally, getting impatient and very hungry, they went into the kitchen to see if there was any food cooking at all. What they saw, they could not believe. Nasreddin Hodja was standing by a huge cauldron, suspended from the ceiling. There was a lighted candle under the cauldron.
"Be patient my friends," Nasreddin Hodja told them. "Dinner will be ready soon. You see it is cooking." "Are you out of your mind, Nasreddin Hodja?" they shouted. How could you with such a tiny flame boil such a large pot?
"Your ignorance of such matters amuses me," Nasreddin Hodja said. "If the flame of a candle behind a window three hundred yards away can warm a person, surely the same flame will boil this pot which is only three inches away."
The friend's understood what Hodja meant and accepting their treachery the friends declared Nasreddin Hodja as the winner of the bet and treated him with a delicious meal.
A Forty Year Old Wine
One day, a neighbor said to the Hodja:
"Have you a wine that is forty years old?"
"Yes I have", replied the Hodja.
Can you give me a little, asked the neighbor.
“If I gave a little to everybody asking for it”, said the Hodja, “It would not be forty years old!”
Beautiful Horse
One day, when Temur was going hunting he wanted the Hodja to join him. In front of the palace, where the hunting started, they gave him an old, tired horse.
During the hunting suddenly it began to rain. Everybody put their horses to the gallop and ran away. But the Hodja couldn't... As the weather was hot he took off his clothes and put them under him. And so he returned slowly to the palace. When the rain was over he put on his clothes again.
When he arrived at the palace, his clothes were dry and Temur was most astonished.
“We all got wet”, he said. “How is it, that you are still dry?”
“Oh, Sir”, the Hodja replied. “With the help of this horse, I arrived at the palace without getting wet.”
Another hunting trip Temur wanted the horse which was given to the Hodja before. By a great coincidence it again began to rain and Temur got wet. When he came back to the palace he angrily called the Hodja and asked what it meant.
“Oh Sir,”, the Hodja said. “I am very sorry. I forgot to tell you, that you also had to put your clothes under you and then you would not get wet.”
Credit
A man wanted money from the Hodja on credit, but the Hodja said:
“I have no money, but I can give you credit. How much do you want?”
Empty House
One night the wife of the Hodja said:
“Effendi, I heard somebody walking on the roof. I am sure that it's a thief who wants to enter the house.”
But the Hodja didn't care about it.
“First let him find something to steal. If he finds it, it will be easier to take it from his hands.”
Everything is Possible
One day the Hodja's friends came to his house and called him. But the Hodja, who didn't want them in his house, told his wife to say, that he wasn't at home. “But we saw that he entered the house”, said his friends.
The Hodja listening to them got very angry, he opened the window and shouted:
“You silly men! Isn't it possible, that this house has two doors? Can this poor man not go out the backdoor?”
Good Place
One day the Hodja was told to speak to the community. He came into the mosque, got on the high chair and set for a long time. Then he spoke:
“Dear community, I cannot remember anything to tell you”, he said.
His son, a clever boy, was sitting under the chair. He stood up and said:
“If you cannot remember what to tell us, can't you remember how to get down from that place?”
Heavy Coat
One night the people heard a frightful noise from the Hodja's house. They asked in the morning:
“What was that noise?”
“Oh, my coat fell downstairs.”
“Can a coat make such a noise?,”
“If you were in it, like me, yes!”
Hodja's Dream
In his dream some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten.-So he refused them. Suddenly he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So he quickly closed his eyes again and said: “It's okay, I'll take the nine coins.”
Hodja's Writing
One day a man asked the Hodja to write a letter for him.
“Where will the letter go?” the Hodja asked.
“To Baghdad”, said the man.
“I cannot go to there”, the Hodja told him.
“But you don't have to go. The letter will go there”, said the man and the Hodja explained:
“Nobody can read what I write. Therefore I must go there to read it.”
Lost Coin
On a summer evening, the front garden of the coffee house was well lit by the gas lamps placed on the few wooden tables. Men of Aksehir were playing tavla. Nasreddin Hodja was, however, troubled. He was searching something beside the tables of the tavla players.
`What are you looking for, Hodja Effendi?' they asked.
`I lost a gold coin.' The Hodja said.
`Hodja Effendi, did you lose your coin here?'
`No, I lost it in that back alley over there.'
`Then why are you looking for it here? You should search the alley where you lost it!'
`But it is dark in there and I can't see anything. Here it is nice and illuminated, so I search here, where I can see better.'
How to Save a Man
A man climbed up a tree but couldn't get back down. He asked the help of the passers-by. Nasreddin Hodja happened to be there too and said that he could help. He found a long rope and threw one end of it to the man up on the tree.
`Tie this around your waist!' he said.
`What are you doing Hodja Effendi?' the others wanted to interfere, `You cannot rescue a man from a tree like that.'
`Trust me,' the Hodja tried to calm them down, `this method is tested and true.' Once the man wrapped one end of the rope around his waist and made a strong knot, Nasreddin Hodja pulled the man down amidst cries of the watching crowd. The man fell on the ground with a huge thump and was badly hurt.
`Hodja Effendi, we warned you. Look what you have done.' the crowd said.
`I once saved a man with this exact same method,' the Hodja explained, `but I cannot remember if it was from a tree or from a water well.'
Interest
One day a friend asked Nasreddin Hodja to lend him some money.
`Hodja, I am a little hard up,' he said, `can you lend me some money with interest.'
`I don't have any cash,' the Hodja replied, `but I can lend you as much interest as you want.'
Invited
One of the wealthy men of Aksehir had invited Nasreddin Hodja over to his house. On the said day, the Hodja arrived at the rich man's house and knocked on the door. The man's son answered the door and told the Hodja that his father was not at home. However, the Hodja had already seen the host sitting by the window. He was very put out to be invited only to be turned down at the door with a lie.
`Tell your father,' he said to the boy, `next time he is going out, he should not forget his head by the window!'
On the Roof
Nasreddin Hodja's old house had a leaking roof. One day the Hodja decided to fix it. He borrowed a ladder and with great difficulty climbed up to the roof. Just as he was setting off to work, he heard a knock on the door. He looked down from the edge of the roof and saw a stranger in front of his door.
`I am up here.' Hodja shouted. When the man looked up, `What is it that you want?' he asked him.
`Please come down,' replied the man, `I have something to say to you.'
Hodja precariously descended down the old ladder. Once on the ground he again asked the man what he wanted.
`Alms,' said the man, `could you spare some alms.'
Hodja thought for a second and then told the man to come up to the roof with him. Hodja in front, the beggar behind him, both running short on breath, climbed up the ladder. Once on the roof top, Hodja turned to the man and said: `I don't have any.'
Hammam
One day The Hodja went to the hammam. Looking at his poor clothes, the workers at the hammam didn't treat him right and gave him torn towels. In spite of the lousy service, Nasreddin Hodja gave them all fat tips when leaving.
The next time Hodja went to the hammam, the workers provided him with excellent service. They gave him the newest towels and massaged his back. However, this time The Hodja left them only small changes. One of the workers ventured to find out why.
`Hodja Effendi, last time you gave us big tips...' he hinted.
`Oh, yes. Those tips were for today's service,' Hodja replied, `today's tips are for my previous visit.'
Distributing Grapes
One day the hodja was walking home with a basket of grapes in his arm. When the neighbourhood children saw the grapes, they asked for some. Hodja gave each one of them a small cluster of grapes. When the children complained that he was giving too little, Hodja had to come up with an excuse to save his basket of grapes from being consumed before he reached home.
`A little, a lot,' he said, `they all taste the same.'
Vinegar
Word got out that Nasreddin Hodja possessed a jar full of vinegar that was 40 years old. One day a neighbour came knocking on the door.
`Hodja Effendi, is it really true that you have a jar full of 40-year-old vinegar?'
`It is true.' the Hodja replied.
`Could I have a cup full of that vinegar?'
`No.' said Hodja tersely.
`But Hodja Effendi,' the displeased neighbour pursued, `why wouldn't you give me some? I only asked for a cup full.'
`Because,' Hodja explained, `if I were to give a cup full to everyone who asked, my vinegar wouldn't have lasted for 40 years.'
A neighbour who Nasreddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbour asked Nasreddin if he could borrow his donkey.
Nasreddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like, told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."
The neighbour was disappointed. But he thanked Nasreddin and began to walk away.
Just as he got a few steps away, Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray.
The neighbour turned to Nasreddin and said, "Hodja, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here.
Nasreddin Hodja turned to the neighbour and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?
Nasreddin Hodja And A Philosopher
Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was traveling through Nasreddin's village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat.
He suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited Nasreddin Hodja to join him. Much obliged, Nasreddin Hodja accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day.
"Fish! Fresh Fish!" replied the waiter. "Bring us two," they answered.
A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was quite a bit smaller than the other.
Without hesitating, Nasreddin Hodja took the larger of the fish and put it on his plate. The scholar, giving Nasreddin Hodja a look of intense disbelief, proceed to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but that it violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.
Nasreddin Hodja calmly listened to the philosopher's extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, Sir, what would you have done?"
"I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself."
"And here you are," Nasreddin Hodja said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman's plate.
How Nasreddin Hodja Won The Bet?
On a frigid and snowy winter day Nasreddin Hodja was having a chat with some of his friends in the local coffee house. Nasreddin Hodja said that cold weather did not bother him, and in fact, he could stay, if necessary, all night without any heat.
"We'll take you up on that, Nasreddin Hodja " they said. "If you stand all night in the village square without warming yourself by any external means, each of us will treat you to a sumptuous meal. But if you fail to do so, you will treat us all to dinner." "All right it's a bet," Nasreddin Hodja said.
That very night, Nasreddin Hodja stood in the village square till morning despite the bitter cold. In the morning, he ran triumphantly to his friends and told them that they should be ready to fulfill their promise.
"But as a matter of fact you lost the bet, Nasreddin Hodja," said one of them. "At about midnight, just before I went to sleep, I saw a candle burning a window about three hundred yards away from where you were standing. That certainly means that you warmed yourself by it."
"That's ridiculous," Nasreddin Hodja argued. "How can a candle behind a window warm a person three hundred yards away?" All his protestations were to no avail, and it was decided that Nasreddin Hodja had lost the bet.
Nasreddin Hodja accepted the verdict and invited all of them to a dinner that night at his home. They all arrived on time, laughing and joking, anticipating the delicious meal Nasreddin Hodja was going to serve them. But dinner was not ready. Nasreddin Hodja told them that it would be ready in a short time, and left the room to prepare the meal.
A long time passed, and still no dinner was served. Finally, getting impatient and very hungry, they went into the kitchen to see if there was any food cooking at all. What they saw, they could not believe. Nasreddin Hodja was standing by a huge cauldron, suspended from the ceiling. There was a lighted candle under the cauldron.
"Be patient my friends," Nasreddin Hodja told them. "Dinner will be ready soon. You see it is cooking." "Are you out of your mind, Nasreddin Hodja?" they shouted. How could you with such a tiny flame boil such a large pot?
"Your ignorance of such matters amuses me," Nasreddin Hodja said. "If the flame of a candle behind a window three hundred yards away can warm a person, surely the same flame will boil this pot which is only three inches away."
The friend's understood what Hodja meant and accepting their treachery the friends declared Nasreddin Hodja as the winner of the bet and treated him with a delicious meal.
A Forty Year Old Wine
One day, a neighbor said to the Hodja:
"Have you a wine that is forty years old?"
"Yes I have", replied the Hodja.
Can you give me a little, asked the neighbor.
“If I gave a little to everybody asking for it”, said the Hodja, “It would not be forty years old!”
Beautiful Horse
One day, when Temur was going hunting he wanted the Hodja to join him. In front of the palace, where the hunting started, they gave him an old, tired horse.
During the hunting suddenly it began to rain. Everybody put their horses to the gallop and ran away. But the Hodja couldn't... As the weather was hot he took off his clothes and put them under him. And so he returned slowly to the palace. When the rain was over he put on his clothes again.
When he arrived at the palace, his clothes were dry and Temur was most astonished.
“We all got wet”, he said. “How is it, that you are still dry?”
“Oh, Sir”, the Hodja replied. “With the help of this horse, I arrived at the palace without getting wet.”
Another hunting trip Temur wanted the horse which was given to the Hodja before. By a great coincidence it again began to rain and Temur got wet. When he came back to the palace he angrily called the Hodja and asked what it meant.
“Oh Sir,”, the Hodja said. “I am very sorry. I forgot to tell you, that you also had to put your clothes under you and then you would not get wet.”
Credit
A man wanted money from the Hodja on credit, but the Hodja said:
“I have no money, but I can give you credit. How much do you want?”
Empty House
One night the wife of the Hodja said:
“Effendi, I heard somebody walking on the roof. I am sure that it's a thief who wants to enter the house.”
But the Hodja didn't care about it.
“First let him find something to steal. If he finds it, it will be easier to take it from his hands.”
Everything is Possible
One day the Hodja's friends came to his house and called him. But the Hodja, who didn't want them in his house, told his wife to say, that he wasn't at home. “But we saw that he entered the house”, said his friends.
The Hodja listening to them got very angry, he opened the window and shouted:
“You silly men! Isn't it possible, that this house has two doors? Can this poor man not go out the backdoor?”
Good Place
One day the Hodja was told to speak to the community. He came into the mosque, got on the high chair and set for a long time. Then he spoke:
“Dear community, I cannot remember anything to tell you”, he said.
His son, a clever boy, was sitting under the chair. He stood up and said:
“If you cannot remember what to tell us, can't you remember how to get down from that place?”
Heavy Coat
One night the people heard a frightful noise from the Hodja's house. They asked in the morning:
“What was that noise?”
“Oh, my coat fell downstairs.”
“Can a coat make such a noise?,”
“If you were in it, like me, yes!”
Hodja's Dream
In his dream some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten.-So he refused them. Suddenly he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So he quickly closed his eyes again and said: “It's okay, I'll take the nine coins.”
Hodja's Writing
One day a man asked the Hodja to write a letter for him.
“Where will the letter go?” the Hodja asked.
“To Baghdad”, said the man.
“I cannot go to there”, the Hodja told him.
“But you don't have to go. The letter will go there”, said the man and the Hodja explained:
“Nobody can read what I write. Therefore I must go there to read it.”
Lost Coin
On a summer evening, the front garden of the coffee house was well lit by the gas lamps placed on the few wooden tables. Men of Aksehir were playing tavla. Nasreddin Hodja was, however, troubled. He was searching something beside the tables of the tavla players.
`What are you looking for, Hodja Effendi?' they asked.
`I lost a gold coin.' The Hodja said.
`Hodja Effendi, did you lose your coin here?'
`No, I lost it in that back alley over there.'
`Then why are you looking for it here? You should search the alley where you lost it!'
`But it is dark in there and I can't see anything. Here it is nice and illuminated, so I search here, where I can see better.'
How to Save a Man
A man climbed up a tree but couldn't get back down. He asked the help of the passers-by. Nasreddin Hodja happened to be there too and said that he could help. He found a long rope and threw one end of it to the man up on the tree.
`Tie this around your waist!' he said.
`What are you doing Hodja Effendi?' the others wanted to interfere, `You cannot rescue a man from a tree like that.'
`Trust me,' the Hodja tried to calm them down, `this method is tested and true.' Once the man wrapped one end of the rope around his waist and made a strong knot, Nasreddin Hodja pulled the man down amidst cries of the watching crowd. The man fell on the ground with a huge thump and was badly hurt.
`Hodja Effendi, we warned you. Look what you have done.' the crowd said.
`I once saved a man with this exact same method,' the Hodja explained, `but I cannot remember if it was from a tree or from a water well.'
Interest
One day a friend asked Nasreddin Hodja to lend him some money.
`Hodja, I am a little hard up,' he said, `can you lend me some money with interest.'
`I don't have any cash,' the Hodja replied, `but I can lend you as much interest as you want.'
Invited
One of the wealthy men of Aksehir had invited Nasreddin Hodja over to his house. On the said day, the Hodja arrived at the rich man's house and knocked on the door. The man's son answered the door and told the Hodja that his father was not at home. However, the Hodja had already seen the host sitting by the window. He was very put out to be invited only to be turned down at the door with a lie.
`Tell your father,' he said to the boy, `next time he is going out, he should not forget his head by the window!'
On the Roof
Nasreddin Hodja's old house had a leaking roof. One day the Hodja decided to fix it. He borrowed a ladder and with great difficulty climbed up to the roof. Just as he was setting off to work, he heard a knock on the door. He looked down from the edge of the roof and saw a stranger in front of his door.
`I am up here.' Hodja shouted. When the man looked up, `What is it that you want?' he asked him.
`Please come down,' replied the man, `I have something to say to you.'
Hodja precariously descended down the old ladder. Once on the ground he again asked the man what he wanted.
`Alms,' said the man, `could you spare some alms.'
Hodja thought for a second and then told the man to come up to the roof with him. Hodja in front, the beggar behind him, both running short on breath, climbed up the ladder. Once on the roof top, Hodja turned to the man and said: `I don't have any.'
Hammam
One day The Hodja went to the hammam. Looking at his poor clothes, the workers at the hammam didn't treat him right and gave him torn towels. In spite of the lousy service, Nasreddin Hodja gave them all fat tips when leaving.
The next time Hodja went to the hammam, the workers provided him with excellent service. They gave him the newest towels and massaged his back. However, this time The Hodja left them only small changes. One of the workers ventured to find out why.
`Hodja Effendi, last time you gave us big tips...' he hinted.
`Oh, yes. Those tips were for today's service,' Hodja replied, `today's tips are for my previous visit.'
Distributing Grapes
One day the hodja was walking home with a basket of grapes in his arm. When the neighbourhood children saw the grapes, they asked for some. Hodja gave each one of them a small cluster of grapes. When the children complained that he was giving too little, Hodja had to come up with an excuse to save his basket of grapes from being consumed before he reached home.
`A little, a lot,' he said, `they all taste the same.'
Vinegar
Word got out that Nasreddin Hodja possessed a jar full of vinegar that was 40 years old. One day a neighbour came knocking on the door.
`Hodja Effendi, is it really true that you have a jar full of 40-year-old vinegar?'
`It is true.' the Hodja replied.
`Could I have a cup full of that vinegar?'
`No.' said Hodja tersely.
`But Hodja Effendi,' the displeased neighbour pursued, `why wouldn't you give me some? I only asked for a cup full.'
`Because,' Hodja explained, `if I were to give a cup full to everyone who asked, my vinegar wouldn't have lasted for 40 years.'
